We Are Family

It's been a couple of days since my last post -- six days to be exact -- and that's because I've been crazy busy spending time with family...and it felt great.

In 1936, my grandmother and her brother bought a pretty amazing beach house in a shore community about two hours away from my house and now, generations later, my whole family (uncles, aunts, cousins, first cousins, second cousins twice removed, etc.) owns this house. We each have time allocated to us on a schedule and everyone looks forward to their beach house time every single year. We do not rent it out but keep the house strictly within family. It's a pretty amazing place.

Of course, this house hasn't become amazing on its own. It requires a lot of work! Especially since it's right on a point and gets slammed by storms and salty wind and rain on a constant basis.

So that said, every spring, my extended family organizes a family "work weekend" at the summer house, to get it all shaped up and ready to open up for the summer season. Depending upon how many people we have, we'll figure out some pretty big projects to tackle over the course of a weekend. For example, the boys will be outside shingling the shed roof or rebuilding a door frame (I have a bunch of carpenter-ish family members..lucky me) while the girls work inside, painting, washing windows and just organizing everything the way it needs to be organized prior to opening the house for the season.

I have to say that I love this special house and this beautiful beach community and I feel totally blessed to have this wonderful home in my family. The house is so peaceful and quiet, sitting alone like a solitary beacon at the mouth of the town's harbor. The water is a few hundred yards away from the back steps and we find comfort in hearing the boat motors as they leave harbor every early morning in search of a full catch of fish. I love the memories that I created here and I really look forward to creating more in the future, with my children.

I also love working with my family and all the fun we have together when we're here. So many inside jokes came out of this weekend that I couldn't even begin to explain them all. We worked hard but we definitely played hard too. (No wonder I'm so exhausted now!) I'm still laughing at some of the silliness that took place this weekend.

Aside from the house itself, the other thing I love above all else is the feeling of my family all around me when I am here. I don't get that a lot, since I live alone (just me and my cat) so when I spend time with my extended family, I just feel...loved. And nurtured. It's a great feeling.

When people ask my why I want to become a mom, I wish I could take them to my family's beach house for the weekend and let them feel the experience that I feel. Because then I think they'd understand better why I want to be a mom. I am looking for my family.

It's funny how quickly you get used to being part of a tribe again too. Since I live alone, obviously I spend a lot of time on my own and I feel like I do pretty okay on my own. But as soon as I get here to the beach, I'm surrounded by people pretty much 24x7, since we do share bedrooms. I feel I adapt to the togetherness of the family pretty quickly. And it's obvious that I do love it.

But then eventually, it's time once again to adapt to being alone again. When the weekend ends, so does the togetherness. This is always the hardest part for me: going back home. After three full days and nights with family, I had gotten used to being around people all the time and I loved it. Of course, if I ever felt like I needed a little break, I could just take a walk on the beach (which I totally did every night!) but it was nice because at the end of the walk, there the family was, waiting for me to become a part of the circle once again.

So yes, now I am home again and although I was excited to come home, watch the series finale of "Lost" and get a good night's sleep, I couldn't help but feel a little sad because I'd left all the people I love behind. When I left the beach house, I had left my brother, his wife and two kids that I absolutely adore back there, cooking dinner and drinking wine (the parents of course, not the kids). They did ask me to stay for dinner but I was exhausted and wanted to get on the road before it got dark. Plus leaving later would only delay the inevitable. I had to go home sometime.

So now that I'm home again, alone, listening to the whirring of the air conditioner in the window, I am telling myself, this is only short term. Someday soon this house of mine will be full of noise and laughter and tons of love. I know it. I will have what my brothers and sister have. I will have a family of my own! Until then, I will hold onto the memories of a pretty great weekend with my family and laugh over the crazy inside jokes we created. And then I will go to bed and sleep like I've never slept before. Good night!